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Dec 20, 2009, 4:51am

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Acne Support Group in Cyberspace :: Acne Miscellaneous :: Acne & Dating :: dating in the 'right' lighting
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AuthorTopic: dating in the 'right' lighting (Read 786 times)
craigs
Junior Acne Survivor
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dating in the 'right' lighting
« Thread Started on Jun 17, 2005, 9:06am »
So...I meet a great guy in a bar with dark/amber/'good' lighting...so, I think I look good...we have an amazing 'connection', things proceed, we talk on the phone and have a few more 'well lite' dates, along with some great sex....all is good....until the day we meet for a picnic in the park.
Mid-day- high sun... bad light for even the best skin out there.
he sees me, all of me: acne/pock scars all over my nose...
I never hear from him again after that day.
They may be small scars, character marks or just part of me...but I know better...the dating public is fickle and so am I.
I want these scars gone- NOW...I'm already suffering depression and this obviously doesn't help...does anything/laser/treatments help.
Looking for Support/Info....Thank You.
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humbled
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Joined: Dec 2008
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Re: dating in the 'right' lighting
« Reply #1 on Dec 5, 2008, 8:16pm »
I totally understand where you are coming. from...the only difference between me and you is that I have a boyfriend, who I met when I was acne free. i had actually been acne free for the last four years while I was in college, and for some reason it has flared back up as of late. my boyfriend is totally understanding and says "that he still thinks I'm beautiful"...but I really do not beleive him. I used to be so pretty before my face broke out...and now I feel like a monster...I hate talking to people because I feel like they are all staring at my skin. I even avoiding hanging out with my boyfriend sometimes because I dont want him to see my flare ups...but enough about me...I am here to offer support. i want you to know that yes there are some really stupid people out there but there are also some really great...remember that what counts is in the inside and I promise you that you will find someone who loves you for you.
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sethczerepak
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Joined: Jul 2009
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Re: dating in the 'right' lighting
« Reply #2 on Jul 26, 2009, 9:21pm »
Hi Craigs,

First off, I am very sorry to hear about what happened. There is nothing more horrible than finding someone who you seem to have a special connection with but always having that lingering doubt about what they will think when they find out. I have very bad acne all over as a teen, it is mostly gone now. However, I still have problems on my back. The worst part is that my face looks perfectly find and so they never find out right away....I am always left wondering what will happen when they do. Sometimes I think it would be better if I had it somewhere they could see it.

Anyway, in relation to laser treatment. I am a freelance writer and have been doing some marketing pieces for laser clinics so I know a bit about it. The laser actually burns of the layers of skin which have the scars and after a few treatments the fresher skin below starts to surface. Most of the time this layer does not have the scars. The reason I have not done it is because my scars are very deep in places and I am not sure that the treatment can completely remove such scars. I usually recommend that people just ask to see some case study results and have someone let them know what their options are.

However, what can be worse is the emotional scars. I am 33 and I am just now beginning to tell people how much this has devastated my self-image. That's how I found this place. And humbled, if you are reading this, I know how hard it is to receive compliments about your looks when you have your doubts. I have to remind myself all the time that my own insecurities about my looks are mine and that other people have the right to think whatever they want in spite of how monstrous I may sometimes feel. It's hard, nearly 22 years of having these problems. You are very fortunate that he is not shallow and thinks you are beautiful. Anyway, if I don't stop this will become a novel. Hope you both have a good day. -SJC
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